This is Personal
I know what you’re thinking, Marvin and Sharisse, you are in your 50s and standing at the top of the minority relationship mountain with 30+ years under your belt, looking down at us singles who are struggling to get our footing or are so frustrated that we have stopped climbing. How can you relate? Yes, but this book is personal to us because we have a son and daughter in their 20s who are single, and we've seen the pain of incompatible breakups and the frustration of internet ghost chases. Just a few months ago, I had consoled my daughter who was in tears when out of the blue she was dumped after 6 months of dating with no explanation. The struggles they face—whether it be dealing with societal expectations, navigating cultural differences, gender stereotypes, or simply finding someone with shared interests—have molded our understanding of love and connection in these diverse contexts. Each experience they have shared with us highlights the need for honest conversations about dating in today's world. This series was born out of a desire to provide support and guidance, not only for them but for others encountering similar challenges in their search for meaningful relationships. Sharisse and I want everyone to find Help, Healing, Hope, and their Holistic (Complete) Partner. Our son and daughter are major contributors to this dating series, and Segovia writes and shares her dating experiences in this series.
Imagine dating with purpose and clarity—designed just for minority and interracial singles.
This audiobook offers you a blueprint for transformative love: explore the roots of your dating beliefs, cultivate self-love and confidence, and set intentional vibes that attract real partnerships. Heal past hurts, embrace your unique story, and create authentic connections—one empowered step at a time.
What's covered in the book:
Introduction: Relational Inventory (Evaluation)
A guided self-audit to help you take stock of your past patterns, beliefs, and goals—so you can chart a clear path forward in your romantic journey.
Part IV: The History and Culture of Minority and Interracial Dating
Chapter 1: Dating Through the Ages: From Letters to Likes
A look at how courtship rituals have evolved—from handwritten love letters to swipe-right culture—and what each era can teach us about connection.
Chapter 2: Three Generations of Dating (Shacking, Scoring & Smashing)
An exploration of shifting norms across three generations, unpacking how social attitudes and language around dating have shaped our expectations today.
Part V: My Healing & My History
Chapter 3: My Childhood and Dating
Reflect on how early family dynamics and cultural messages influenced your attachment style and romantic choices.
Chapter 4: My Dating History
A personal retrospective on past relationships—celebrating lessons learned, confronting regrets, and honoring growth along the way.
Chapter 5: My Steps to Healing
Practical strategies and exercises for working through old wounds, setting boundaries, and reclaiming your emotional wellbeing.Part VI: My Hope (New Mindset & New Vibe)
Chapter 6: Before Dating, Set Your Vibe!
How to cultivate the mindset and energy you want to bring into every interaction, so you date from a place of clarity and confidence.
Chapter 7: Start Loving in Increments
Learn to pace your affection and investment—building trust step by step to avoid burnout and heartache.
Chapter 8: Chill; “Time Don’t Lie!”
Patience as power: why letting things unfold at their own rhythm reveals true compatibility faster than rushing ahead.
Chapter 9: Stand Your Ground: Know Your Must-Haves
Define your non-negotiables and communicate them firmly so you attract partners who respect and share your core values.
Part VII: Connecting Beyond the Click
Chapter 10: Swiping My Life Away
A deep dive into the psychological impact of endless options online—and how to break the scroll-and-bail cycle for more meaningful matches.
Chapter 11: The Myth of FWB
Unpack the realities behind “friends with benefits,” examining common pitfalls and when this approach can (or can’t) work healthily.
Part VIII: A New Way to Date
Chapter 12: A Whole New Vibe Check! (A Holistic Approach)
How to integrate mind, body, spirit, and community into your dating life for deeper fulfillment and alignment with your true self.
Chapter 13: Is Purity Maturity?
Challenge conventional ideas of purity and explore how emotional and relational maturity create the strongest foundation for intimacy.
Chapter 14: Old-School Dating
Revisit timeless dating rituals—like handwritten notes, thoughtful gestures, and intentional planning—and adapt them for the modern era.
Appendix I: Relational Inventory Revisited
Re-run your initial evaluation to measure your growth—and pinpoint any new areas for reflection or work.
Appendix II: Additional Resources
A curated collection of further reading, podcasts, workshops, and support networks to continue your journey toward healthy, joyful relationships.
📥IMPORTANT: Android users will need an EPUB reader — we recommend ReadEra.