This is Personal
I know what you’re thinking, Marvin and Sharisse, you are in your 50s and standing at the top of the minority relationship mountain with 30+ years under your belt, looking down at us singles who are struggling to get our footing or are so frustrated that we have stopped climbing. How can you relate? Yes, but this book is personal to us because we have a son and daughter in their 20s who are single, and we've seen the pain of incompatible breakups and the frustration of internet ghost chases. Just a few months ago, I had consoled my daughter who was in tears when out of the blue she was dumped after 6 months of dating with no explanation.  The struggles they face—whether it be dealing with societal expectations, navigating cultural differences, gender stereotypes, or simply finding someone with shared interests—have molded our understanding of love and connection in these diverse contexts. Each experience they have shared with us highlights the need for honest conversations about dating in today's world. This series was born out of a desire to provide support and guidance, not only for them but for others encountering similar challenges in their search for meaningful relationships. Sharisse and I want everyone to find Help, Healing, Hope, and their Holistic (Complete) Partner. Our son and daughter are major contributors to this dating series, and Segovia writes and shares her dating experiences in this series. 
 
Are you tired of ghosting, surface-level swiping, and feeling unseen in today’s dating world?
This eye-opening and deeply personal guide is for singles from diverse backgrounds—especially interracial and minority individuals—seeking more than just another app match. It’s for those longing for healing, self-discovery, and real connection.
 
What's covered in the book:
Introduction: The Realities of Minority Dating
An honest look at the unique challenges and cultural dynamics minority singles face today—and why understanding them is the first step toward a thriving love life.
 
Take the “Am I Relationship Ready” Evaluation
A quick self-assessment quiz you’ll revisit at the start and end of your journey to measure your growth and readiness for a healthy partnership.
Part I: Healthy Expectations and Perspective
 
Chapter 1: Blue Pill or Red Pill
Explore the myths (“blue pill”) vs. the truths (“red pill”) about dating, so you can spot toxic beliefs and choose a more realistic mindset.
 
Chapter 2: Losing Myself in the “Fire”!
Learn to recognize when passion blinds you to red flags—and how to stay true to your own values, even when the chemistry is off the charts.
Part II: I Matter
 
Chapter 3: I’m My Best Friend
Discover why building a healthy relationship with yourself is foundational to drawing in someone who truly values you.
 
Chapter 4: I’m a “Baddie” (Attractive)
Own your beauty—inside and out—and boost your confidence so you can walk into any room knowing you deserve respect and admiration.
 
Chapter 5: I’m Self-Care
Practical strategies for making your mental, emotional, and physical well-being a non-negotiable part of your daily routine.
 
Chapter 6: I’m Interesting
How to cultivate curiosity, hobbies, and conversation skills that make you genuinely magnetic to potential partners.
 
Chapter 7: I’m Here (Listening)
Master the art of active listening—because being heard and understood is the single most powerful gift you can offer anyone.
 
Chapter 8: I’m Keepin’ It Real
Honesty as your superpower: how to express your needs and boundaries without guilt or drama.
 
Chapter 9: I’m Mindful
Techniques for staying present on dates and in communication, so you never miss the subtle cues that build real connection.
 
Chapter 10: I’m Smiling (Glowed Up!)
Tap into the confidence and joy that come from self-acceptance—and watch as your positive energy becomes irresistible.
 
Part III: Intentional Dating
Chapter 11: Slide Into the DMs: The Art of Digital First Impressions
Step-by-step guidance on crafting messages and profiles that get the right kind of attention—without playing games.
 
Chapter 12: 1st and 2nd Dates
What to focus on (and avoid) during the critical early outings, so you can assess compatibility and chemistry efficiently.
 
Chapter 13: Intentional Vibing! (Future Dates)
How to design date experiences that deepen emotional intimacy and ensure you’re building toward a shared vision.
 
Chapter 14: Leveling Up for the Future (Character Goals)
Set personal growth objectives that strengthen your character—and attract a partner who’s equally committed to self-improvement.
 
Appendix I: Relationship Ready Retake (Evaluation)
Re-test yourself with the “Relationship Ready” quiz to see how far you’ve come—and identify any areas still in need of work.
 
Appendix II: Other Dating and Relationship Resources
A curated list of books, podcasts, websites, and communities for ongoing support on your journey.

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