10 Marriage Journal Prompts for Intercultural Couples to Explore Their Unique Heritage
- Marvin Lucas
- Jan 13
- 6 min read
"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect." — Anaïs Nin
The Power of Writing Together
Sharisse found me in my study one evening, filling pages in a journal.
"What are you writing?" she asked.
"About us," I said. "About how we got here. About what I've learned."
She sat down next to me. "Can I see?"
What started as my private reflection became a shared practice. We began journaling together—sometimes writing separately about the same prompts, then sharing what we'd written. Other times, writing to each other, capturing things we struggled to say out loud.
Thirty years in, those journals have become a history of our marriage. But more than that, the practice of writing has deepened our understanding of each other in ways conversation alone couldn't.
For intercultural couples, journaling offers unique benefits. Writing slows you down. It forces you to articulate things you feel but haven't named. It creates space for reflection that conversation often rushes past.
These ten prompts are designed specifically for intercultural marriages. Use them separately, together, or alternating—whatever serves your relationship best.
How to Use These Prompts
Choose Your Format:
Separate journaling, then sharing: Both partners write independently on the same prompt, then read aloud to each other.
Letters to each other: Write to your partner directly, then exchange and read.
Sequential journaling: One partner writes first, then the other responds to what was written.
Solo reflection: Use prompts for personal processing, sharing only what feels right.
Create Ritual:
Set a regular time for journaling (weekly works well)
Create space free from distraction
Approach with curiosity, not performance
Rules of Engagement:
No critiquing each other's writing
What's shared stays between you
Different perspectives are welcome, not threatening
For more communication practices, see our Complete Guide to Communication Mastery.
Prompt 1: The Story of Us Through Cultural Lenses
Write about how you met and fell in love, specifically focusing on moments when cultural differences showed up. How did you navigate them early on? What drew you to someone from a different background?
Why This Matters:
Remembering your origin story—especially through the lens of cultural difference—reconnects you to why you chose each other. It also reveals early patterns that may have evolved over time.
Example Starter:
"When we first met, I noticed that you... and I remember thinking..."
Prompt 2: What I've Learned from Your Culture
What has your partner's cultural background taught you? How have you grown as a person from being exposed to their heritage? What do you appreciate about their culture that you didn't understand at first?
Why This Matters:
This prompt cultivates gratitude and helps partners see their cultural differences as gifts rather than problems to solve.
Example Starter:
"Before I met you, I never understood... Now I see that..."
Prompt 3: The Hardest Cultural Difference
What cultural difference between you has been the most challenging to navigate? How has it shown up in your marriage? What have you tried? What still feels unresolved?
Why This Matters:
Naming the hardest parts honestly—in writing, where you can take time to be thoughtful—creates space for deeper conversations.
Example Starter:
"The difference that challenges me most is... It affects us when..."
Prompt 4: What I Wish You Understood
What do you wish your partner understood better about your cultural background? What do you feel they miss or misunderstand? What would it mean to you if they truly "got" this?
Why This Matters:
This prompt gives voice to things that might be hard to say in conversation—the places where you feel unseen or misunderstood.
Handle with Care:
Share what you write with compassion. The goal is understanding, not accusation.
Example Starter:
"Something from my background I wish you understood better is... When you don't get it, I feel..."
Prompt 5: Inheritance Inventory
What did you inherit from your cultural background that you want to keep? What did you inherit that you want to release? What do you want to pass on to future generations?
Why This Matters:
No cultural background is entirely positive or negative. This prompt invites discernment—intentionally choosing what to carry forward.
Example Starter:
"From my background, I want to keep... I want to release... I want to pass on..."
Prompt 6: The Role Culture Plays in Conflict
Think about a recent conflict or recurring disagreement. Write about how cultural background might be influencing each person's position. Where might you be bringing assumptions that feel like "normal" to you but are actually "cultural"?
Why This Matters:
This prompt builds awareness of how culture operates in daily friction—not as an excuse, but as an explanation that opens new solutions.
Example Starter:
"In our disagreement about... my cultural background might be influencing me to believe that... Your background might be leading you to assume..."
Prompt 7: Moments of Cultural Pride
Write about a moment when you felt proud to share your cultural heritage with your partner. What was the occasion? What did you share? How did they respond? What did that moment mean to you?
Why This Matters:
Celebrating positive moments strengthens the connection between your identity and your marriage.
Example Starter:
"I felt proud to share my culture when... I loved how you..."
Prompt 8: The Family I Came From
Describe your family of origin—not just what they did, but how they were. What was the emotional atmosphere? What was valued? What was forbidden? How did being part of that family shape who you are today?
Why This Matters:
We marry individuals, but we're also joining family systems. Understanding your partner's family atmosphere helps you understand your partner.
Example Starter:
"Growing up in my family, the atmosphere was... We valued... We avoided..."
Prompt 9: Building Our Own Culture
You're creating something new—a culture that belongs to your marriage alone. What elements from each of your backgrounds do you want to include? What new traditions or values are you creating together? What is uniquely "yours" as a couple?
Why This Matters:
This prompt is forward-looking, focusing on what you're building rather than what you're navigating.
Example Starter:
"From my background, I want us to incorporate... From yours, I hope we keep... Something new we're creating together is..."
Prompt 10: A Letter of Gratitude
Write a letter to your partner expressing gratitude for how they've navigated cultural differences in your marriage. What have they done that made you feel understood? Where have they stretched beyond their comfort zone? What do you appreciate about their efforts?
Why This Matters:
Gratitude strengthens relationships. Writing it down makes it concrete and lasting.
Example Starter:
"Dear [Partner], I want you to know how much I appreciate... When you... I feel..."
Making Journaling a Lasting Practice
Start Small
If journaling is new, start with one prompt. You don't need to do all ten at once. One prompt per week for ten weeks creates a meaningful exploration.
Share Selectively
Not everything you write needs to be shared. Journal for yourself first. Share what serves the relationship.
Return to Prompts
Your answers will change over time. Return to the same prompts annually and notice your evolution.
Keep the Journals
Years from now, these writings will be treasures. The record of your growth, your struggles, your love.
Your Action Plan
This Week:
Choose one prompt that resonates.
Invite your partner to journal with you (or start alone if they're not ready).
Set aside 30 minutes for writing and sharing.
This Month:
Complete at least three prompts.
Discuss what the practice is revealing.
Decide how you want to continue journaling together.
Ongoing:
Make journaling a regular practice—weekly or monthly.
Create a ritual around it: same time, same space, same intention.
Archive your journals as a record of your marriage journey.
The Stories We Write Together
Sharisse and I have years of journals now. When we go back and read them, we see ourselves—our growth, our struggles, our evolution as a couple.
Writing doesn't replace conversation. But it adds something conversation can't provide: permanence, reflection, and the slow unfolding of thoughts that need more than a moment to articulate.
Your intercultural marriage is a story being written day by day. These prompts invite you to be intentional about that story—to write it together, consciously, beautifully.
Pick up the pen. Start writing. The story is yours to create.
For more ways to deepen connection, explore our conversation starters, couples therapy exercises, and weekly check-in questions.
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